Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Random Jokes 2
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
> > Your name pls.
> > "Abdul Aziz "
> > "Sex? "
> > "Six times a week!! "
> > "No, no, I mean male or female! "
> >"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"
> > Your name pls.
> > "Abdul Aziz "
> > "Sex? "
> > "Six times a week!! "
> > "No, no, I mean male or female! "
> >"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"
Monday, May 11, 2009
Night
As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you
and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me
unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed
still leaves a tingling sensation in me. You appeared from nowhere and
shamelessly without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you
sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any
guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.
Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched
for you, but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last nights
events. My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing,
making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for
you, you darn mosquito
and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me
unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed
still leaves a tingling sensation in me. You appeared from nowhere and
shamelessly without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you
sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any
guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.
Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched
for you, but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last nights
events. My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing,
making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for
you, you darn mosquito
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Never translate IT terms to the Malay Language
Why Mahathir insist on using English for math and science. Because global uses the language as information's and / or technology language at this moment.How danger it is if we're trying to use in Bahasa, especially in school. see example below. *hardware = barangkeras *software = baranglembut *joystick = batang gembira *plug and play = cucuk dan main *port = lubang *server = pelayan *client = pelanggan Try translate this: ENGLISH : That server gives a plug and play service to the clients using either hardware or software joystick.The joystick goes into the port of the client." BAHASA : Pelayan itu memberi pelanggannya layanan cucuk dan main dengan menggunakan batang gembira jenis keras atau lembut.Batang gembira itu dimasukkan ke dalam lubang pelanggan." > > > > > > Now You Know......... | |
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Random Jokes
This happen on the radio
THIS IS REALLY FUNNY!
Presenter : Good morning. This is Power 98 & do you want to play a game?
Contestant : Yeah, why not.
Presenter : Good. It is a simple game. When I say something you have to give an answer that is opposite to what I have said. For eg. when I say Sharp, you have to answer Blunt. OK?
Contestant : OK.
Presenter : Sun
Contestant : Moon.
Presenter : Black
Contestant : White.
Presenter : Tall
Contestant : Short.
Presenter : Dog
Contestant : Cat.
Presenter : Man
Contestant : Woman
Presenter : Cock
Contestant : CHIBAI !!!
RADIO SILENCE !!!!!!
Presenter : These things sometimes happen and we are on air live. Let's take a commercial break here.
-----------------------------------------------------
A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her
arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month
overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a
test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell,
because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: "Are you Mrs.
Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric
company.
"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"
"Absolutely."
"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a
bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next
morning.
"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month
overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you
have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
-------------------------------------------------------------
You are in trouble
An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself "Oh God, I'm screwed!!!!!."
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief.
As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, Gods voice booms out again: "Okay ..... NOW you're screwed."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius ..................
Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !
Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah ! blain, use your blainnn ..........
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love ?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not?
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn . you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!
Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah ...... best in Singapore and JB, and some say Batam also ah !!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand.
THIS IS REALLY FUNNY!
Presenter : Good morning. This is Power 98 & do you want to play a game?
Contestant : Yeah, why not.
Presenter : Good. It is a simple game. When I say something you have to give an answer that is opposite to what I have said. For eg. when I say Sharp, you have to answer Blunt. OK?
Contestant : OK.
Presenter : Sun
Contestant : Moon.
Presenter : Black
Contestant : White.
Presenter : Tall
Contestant : Short.
Presenter : Dog
Contestant : Cat.
Presenter : Man
Contestant : Woman
Presenter : Cock
Contestant : CHIBAI !!!
RADIO SILENCE !!!!!!
Presenter : These things sometimes happen and we are on air live. Let's take a commercial break here.
-----------------------------------------------------
A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her
arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month
overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a
test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the door-bell,
because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: "Are you Mrs.
Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric
company.
"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"
"Absolutely."
"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a
bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next
morning.
"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month
overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you
have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."
-------------------------------------------------------------
You are in trouble
An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself "Oh God, I'm screwed!!!!!."
There is a ray of light from heaven and a voice booms out: "No, you are NOT screwed. Pick up that stone at your feet and bash in the head of the chief standing in front of you."
So the explorer picks up the stone and proceeds to bash the living heck out of the chief.
As he stands above the lifeless body, breathing heavily and surrounded by 100 natives with a look of shock on their faces, Gods voice booms out again: "Okay ..... NOW you're screwed."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius ..................
Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?
PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable becaws, same like when you dig your nose with your finger mah !
Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men?
PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose feel better than your finger, right ?
Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?
PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah
Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her menses?
PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow ah ! blain, use your blainnn ..........
Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are making love ?
PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight or not?
Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?
PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn . you go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid lah!!
Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.
PCK : Aiyah ...... best in Singapore and JB, and some say Batam also ah !!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand.
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